I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
