we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
