1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
