Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
