Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
