why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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