We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
