Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
