I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
