i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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