Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
