my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
