he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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