My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
