Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
