that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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