Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
