all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
