This is not my ceiling
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
