The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I fill condoms, not promises.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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