when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
