My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
why do cheetos always look like penises
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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