i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
