He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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