At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
