you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I woke up under a house in Key West
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
