I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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