we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
