dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
