I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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