My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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