we have pet lesbian snakes
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i was born a porn star she said
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
