If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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