you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Randomize
