this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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