Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
