On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
