I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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