belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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