ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
