We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
