Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
