Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
