Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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