He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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