I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
