How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
