my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize