she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
