Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
