I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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